22 January, 2023
Dad's the word in community support group
WHEN Stephen Charlie Hirst found himself feeling lost and alone during a marriage breakup which saw him lose daily contact with his two young children, he decided he needed help.
But finding help was not easy.
Whilst he tried therapy and counselling, the cost, along with not being able to talk daily to someone was a challenge.
So, for the next few years, Stephen worked with a life coach who he said helped him to find his identity and learn to love himself.
“Many of us do not love who we are,” Stephen said.
“But I love being a dad, it’s the most incredible thing you could ever be.
“I always thought I was a fantastic Dad for providing for my family in terms of security, though upon reflection, I realised I was not present and lacked quality time with them.
“I knew I had to look inward and put the ego aside.
“This is when I started the journey of becoming the dad my kids deserve and the man I deserve to be.”
Stephen said he learnt how to better communicate, regulate his emotions, take ownership, and be present for his children.
“I now have a healthy co-parenting relationship and the most beautiful close relationship with my children.”
It was at this stage that Stephen realised he wanted to pursue “something more impactful” than his 9-5 corporate job working as a Lite n’ Easy team leader.
This is when Stephen decided to start “Dad’s Community” – a Facebook page bringing together dads from across the Moreton Bay.
“Dad’s community is a safe space that I had created for dads to support them in their journey of being the best dad they can for their families,” he said.
“I believe everyone is a good person, they just sometimes do bad things.
“I want to show them that they can break those bad habits.
“I started the Dad’s Community because I wanted to give back, and I also wished I had this safe space for when I was having challenging moments of separation.”
After establishing the Facebook group in June 2022, Stephen started hosting monthly BBQs at Dohles Rocks, Griffin where every dad is welcome to come and have a chat, enjoy a free beer and dinner.
Stephen said the group grew quickly and other dads started to reach out to him personally.
“I became so busy that I had to decide what was more critical to my career as trainer, assessor and coach to people who just wanted a pay check or people who truly need my skills such as dads and families.”
Stephen made the decision to commit to Dad’s Community full time, quitting his job with Lite n’ Easy, selling his home and investing all his savings into the group.
With now close to 1,000 members and between 20 and 30 new members joining every day, Stephen has started running weekly BBQs, daily 7am live-stream check-in videos, whilst also privately mentoring eight dads.
Stephen said he wanted to do weekly BBQs to be “consistent” and to reassure dads that they will have a safe space to come for a chat every week - rain, hail or shine.
Dad’s Community started in North Brisbane, but is now expanding to include the Sunshine Coast and wider Brisbane area.
This year, Stephen is excited to introduce retreats which will include a weekend away for dads to “level up” and push themselves out of their comfort zones.
In addition to retreats, Dad’s Community also hopes to host walks, coffee catch-ups, motorbike riding, fishing and four-wheeled driving trips.
Stephen said his favourite thing about the group was seeing dads with completely different demographics come together and help each other overcome their challenges.
“If we come together, we can get through this together.”
Stephen said he has already invested tens of thousands of dollars of his own money into the group.
“But it’s been well worth it,” he said.
With plans to grow and provide more services and support, Dad’s Community is seeking more local business sponsors this year.
With eight local businesses already on board, Stephen is looking for innovative ways to collaborate with small business owners such that they can both benefit.
